Phillip used to light things on fire

We were talking the other night about family and why it sometimes seems like all they do is tell you how you ought to be living your life. I have a theory. It's because there was a time, for about a year, when you were cute. Then you learned to speak. Ever since then, your family has been hoping you will be quiet and on the occasion they can get a word in, they tell you important things like stop listening to that horrible music, invest your money in something stable like dentures, and other things of that nature. It's also because they saw you do a lot of stupid things while you were growing up and can't imagine that you will ever be an intelligent, functional adult. I only made jello in a glass bowl on a burner one time, but I will never hear the end of that one - even though I make jello the right way now by purchasing it in a deli on the rare occasion that I deign to play with that kind of fire at all.

Black Pearls!

Phillip did really well for my birthday this year. Not only did he give me something awesome, but he's apparently listening when I offer suggestions on how to make a blah day better:
"You know what would make this situation better? Jewelry."
Or on how to secure some of that cash the Fraternal Order of Police are always calling and asking us for:
"We need the money more than they do. For jewelry."
And finally, on how to combat depression in a way Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields could agree on:
"Some new jewelry would probably convince me to not go all emo right now."
I also got some chocolate cake and champagne and when we got back to the inn, Conan the Destroyer was on tv! It was the perfect birthday.

Taste the depression

I've been in a funk for days. It has something to do with thinking that I never do anything right and I have nothing that I ever excel at. When you think that way, things work out that way, so the bread I made this weekend was kind of flat and blah. My husband says I'm good at lots of things and I feel inadequate because I always put myself in situations where I'm way outside my comfort zone. He's very sweet. I still feel like eating worms, hence these cheese staws.

Highlight this weekend was finally getting Dave and Diane over for dinner. You guys make me laugh. Our dogs can't wait to eat your bebe!

Sucking on the crack pipe

He has been warned and scolded. He has been punished. He knows there are consequences. But he cannot stop himself. He is addicted to the sock.